Still Trying: Not ready for Cycle Six, Introducing Sam…

Today we welcome Sam, who is currently trying for a baby. She talks of how life doesn’t always go to plan and how, as a planner, this is tough to deal with. How do you get your head around it taking a while to fall pregnant? 

Trying for a baby | Still Trying | Getting Pregnant | Riding the Stork, a UK mummy and baby blog

I never thought I would be writing this. If I ever thought that I would be writing anything five months after making the decision to start a family, I would have expected it to be a piece on how wonderful pregnancy was and how I couldn’t wait for our little arrival. However, I find myself nearing the end of cycle five, about to start cycle six, and I don’t know what to make of it all.

Yes, I know that five cycles is nothing, really. Not when there are ladies who try for years before they finally see those two lines on a pregnancy test, but I just feel cheated somehow. Ten years of being so careful with my contraceptive pill, and twice I have taken the morning after pill following a nasty case of vomiting or a slip up whilst on antibiotics. I wish someone had told me that I needn’t have spent the last decade worrying whenever my period happened to be a day or so late.

We are doing all we can, while trying to stay relaxed about the whole thing. I religiously take my folic acid each day, and my husband decided to join me in this daily ritual last month, adding zinc to the vitamin cocktail too. Thankfully, we haven’t gone down the route of temperature charting or peeing on OPKs yet, as I feel that it would take some of the spark out of it all. We both desperately want this baby, and as each month ticks by I can’t help but worry if I will still be writing similar pieces a year from now.

I am such a planner, and have been my whole life. I like timescales, lists, and everything to be scheduled in. Maybe that’s why I am struggling so much with something that I don’t have any real control over. I caved today and took a test this morning, it was negative. Yes, it was a cheapo one, and maybe it was too early, but sadly, I think not. Today is Thursday; cycle six is due to start on Sunday, assuming that my rough calculations are correct.

If cycle six is on its way then there’s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope that five is my lucky number.

So, Storkers, any words of advice or suggestions for Sam? How long did it take you to fall pregnant?  

 

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13 thoughts on “Still Trying: Not ready for Cycle Six, Introducing Sam…

  1. I feel your pain, Sam; I did start to chart on Fertility Friend-not so we could time sex, but more so I could convince myself that I was actually ovulating. Would that be an option for you? It will tell you your exact cycle lenght and signs to look our for.(Knicker-watch, anyone?) I found it a lot easier to deal with once I knew my cycle length, it gives you back a semblance (sp?) of control if that’s what you need.

    Hope you’re not waiting too long! xx

  2. Thanks for posting Sange. I’ve been very lucky in that every cycle (excluding my first post pill) has been exactly twenty seven days. I have quite obvious ovulation signs each cycle too. I know that we are lucky really, as regular cycles and definite ovulation are positive signs, but it’s hard not to wonder why it isn’t happening for us when ladies all around me are falling pregnant at the drop of a hat. As it happens, cycle six descended as predicted. On the plus side, I get to have a boozy Christmas!

  3. I’m cycle 8 or 9, and I feel your pain. In my case I know I have a medical condition in the way which in a way makes the disappointment easier to deal with I guess. I do know it will happen for you though Sam. Have a wonderful Christmas and fingers crossed for a new years surprise!

  4. Lovely Sam, thank you so much for sharing. It can be hard to be honest about feeling frustrated about TTC when everyone says how ‘normal’ it is to take so long and then compare your situation to others who took longer. It’s all relative and your pain, upset and frustration are perfectly legitimate. I hope you have the most wonderful Christmas and New Year and I reeeeally hope that 2013 is when all your dreams come true! :)

  5. I’m exactly the same! If this month doesnt go to plan it will be cycle 4 and even though its nothing really, to be it feels like forever. Sending you love and hugs because I know how you feel xx

  6. I know exactly how you feel! We are month 20-something but only cycle number 2. I secretly wished I could join the ‘one month brigade’ who get pregnant without much effort on their first cycle. Wouldn’t it be great never to have felt the dissapointment of a negative test after doing everything ‘just so’ that month?

    The hardest thing is not knowing how long it will take, or even if it will ever happen. The 6 month mark is a real turning point and where the initial excitement and optimism had been firmly replaced with a slight feeling of panic. I know that feeling well.

    Fingers crossed you don’t have to wait many more months for your turn Sam x

  7. Thank you for all of your comments. I too hope that 2013 is our lucky year, as well as a lucky year for all of you lovely ladies! I do find that with each month the disappointment becomes easier to deal with, I find myself not expecting anything, and therefore am less let down each time. The overall panic that something may be wrong with each empty month increases though, but I try to remind myself that it is far too early for thoughts like those. While I am sad that there are so many of you in this situation, it helps to know that this really is ‘normal’, as opposed to the distorted view that life sometimes presents on how easy it is to fall pregnant.

  8. Sam, you have written the words that many ladies feel after ttc for longer than a couple of months. Brilliant piece. 2013 will bring you your longed for baby I’m sure x

  9. Thanks Duckford – there is still a tiny bit of time left for us to have 2012 BFPs…so I will keep my fingers crossed for us both!

  10. Pingback: Still Trying: Lucky cycle number 7 | Pregnancy waiting game | Riding The Stork

  11. Pingback: Head v Heart | When is the right time to have a baby? | Riding The Stork

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