Weight Loss Wednesday

I’m really honoured to share Victoria’s story with you today. She’s talks with real honesty about her experience with her weight over the years and how she feels she needs to lose more in order to increase her chances of conceiving. With this in mind, we want to make each Wednesday on the blog ‘Weight Loss Wednesday‘. Victoria will be providing regular updates and we’d love for as many of you as possible to take part. Whether you need to lose a few stone in order to improve your chances of conceiving, want to shift a few pounds to make yourself feel a bit better or are keen to shift some baby weight, we’d love to see you here. (If you want to get involved on Twitter, use #WeightLossWeds). 

The format is simple; leave a comment talking about your goals, how you intend to do it and then come back each Wednesday and share how you’re doing. Together we can share weight loss tips, motivate each other and lend a supporting ear at every step of the way.  

 

I have always been a big girl, even though my mum tried to get me to diet as a teen she couldn’t stop me from eating junk when I was out of her sight.

I think I was 15 before I started my periods, but they never really settled down into a pattern like they should, in fact they all but disappeared, I’d get a visit from Aunt Flo once in a blue moon, but this did not worry me at all. It was only when I got engaged to my now husband that I let myself realise this could be serious, and it would actually stop us from having children.

I went to see my GP about it, I wasn’t desperate for a baby and I still don’t feel any urgency about having one but I wanted to make sure it would be a possibility for us. I was nervous and had been preparing myself for him to immediately blame my weight and tell me off. I knew I was classed as ‘morbidly obese’ and had recently joined a slimming club to make a serious attempt at weight loss, with my wedding just under 2 years away. Dr F was a lovely man who didn’t even mention the ‘elephant in the room’, instead when I went in and told him my problem he grinned and proudly showed me a photo of his baby granddaughter who had been born the day before. He told me not to worry and referred me to a Gynaecologist.

I was sent for an ultrasound to scan my ovaries. I was later told I have ‘mild PCOS’. Unlike Sammi, I know that in my case my fertility problems are most likely caused by my obesity – caused by me.

My medical notes mention that they couldn’t get a great view during the scan due to my large size (I paraphrase). I was put on a pill called Dianette, which is used as a treatment for PCOS and has a side effect of being an effective contraceptive. The question was would I have a normal cycle once I stopped taking the pill?

Meanwhile I was doing very well with dieting. My goal was to be able to go wedding dress shopping without too much embarrassment. After the first year I had shed almost 4 stones! I still had a long way to go to be out of the obesity bracket, but I was able to buy a wedding dress I fell in love with 9 months before the wedding day.

Image via Zazzle.

This is where it all went wrong – I stopped losing weight and I started yo-yoing! My weight crept up and by my wedding day I was almost 1 stone heavier than I was when I’d bought the dress, but it still fit me and I adored it. 2 days later we flew off on our honeymoon. I really let my hair down and forgot all about dieting. I was eating and drinking to my hearts content. We were full of newlywed bliss. I had stopped the pill 2 weeks before the wedding and we were all set for trying to conceive.

The months came and went and the regular arrival of AF heralded a hope that something was going right; there was no upset that I wasn’t pregnant yet, because this was an improvement surely?

I kept gaining the weight. I can honestly say I never ever believed for 1 second while I was feeling so great in my wedding dress, that I could put it all back on and more…..but yet that’s where I am today. I am now officially heavier than I was on my first day of diet class 2+ years ago. That breaks my heart to admit, and I spend a hell of a lot of time thinking about that fact, every time I look in a mirror for example, or when climbing the stairs and I realise how easily I get out of breath these days. I am terrified that having lost it once, I won’t be able to lose the weight for a 2nd time and I am struggling to make myself buckle down…yet I want a baby in our future so badly, what bigger incentive could there really be?

I have purchased a fertility monitor and am currently in the middle of my 2nd month of using it. I wanted to be able to follow my cycles and get a picture of what’s going on. I remain terrified that my periods will stop again. The last time I saw the consultant I had told him I wanted to stay on the Dianette until the wedding and come back and see him after that. He told me when I was ready, he would put me on Metformin and then possibly Clomid. I haven’t been back yet, I feel I can’t until I am back to at least the weight I was last time I was there.

It’s now or never, my clock is ticking, I’ll be 30 in less than a year and I have a lot of work to do before then!

I want to share my progress with you and I hope that writing it here for all to see will force me to keep on track.

I know Victoria will be sharing her progress with us. Do you have any goals or top tips? I’ve been using my Hairy Dieters cook book at least three times a week and keeping control of what I’ve been scoffing by meal planning (you can join us each Monday afternoon to let us know what you’ll be eating over the coming week!). I’d like to lose 7lbs between now and Christmas (we’ll gloss over what might happen over Christmas and New Year!).  How about you?

 

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10 thoughts on “Weight Loss Wednesday

  1. V! What a brave and inspiring post. I am already a friendly stalker of yours and will continue to be your friend and cheerleader as you progress on your journey. A quote that I have on my desk at work says “anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight” and I focus on it whenever I am battling something that is difficult. Which is usually exercise! We all have our demons – thank you for being honest and sharing yours with us!

  2. Victoria this is a fantastic post. I know how disheartened you must feel but don’t. You’ve done it once and you can do it again. And we will be here to help you through it.

    For me, I’m annoyed at myself. I lost a stone by going to Slimming World after my wedding in March and only had another half a stone to go until I was at my target weight. Then Life took over and I’ve fallen off the wagon. I’m currently too scared to get back on the scales as I know I’ll have undone most, if not all, of my hard work.

  3. You could be talking about me here V (weight wise). I lost nearly 40 pounds for my wedding last year, I was a healthy weight on my wedding day and felt absolutely fantastic. A stone or so crept on over the next couple of months, quite normal when you are first settling in to married life I think. Then at the start of the year we had a terrible time which sent me spiralling down. Food was my only comfort, and I needed a lot of comforting. 10 months later I have finally looked in the mirror, and looking back at me is someone I have never seen before, nearly 2 stone heavier than I have ever been, even at my worst. I rejoined weight watchers 4 weeks ago today, and have lost 8 pounds so far. My 4th weigh in is tonight.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. Xx

  4. V, you can do it, I believe it!

    I find that losing weight (or even just keeping it in check) is far easier when I meal plan and when I don’t have things like crisps and chocolates in the house. I really get in to the zone then.

    Looking forward to sharing your updates x

  5. I’ve tried to diet over the years, but I can’t be bothered anymore, for me its now just portion control and a lot of excercise. Its working so far!! It must have been soul destroying for you, V, but its come off once, it’ll come off again. The trick is keeping the mindset that initiated the loss. We can help you with that!! I’ll be following #weightlosswednesday with a keen eye. Xx

  6. Thank you all, your comments and encouragement really mean a lot to me, and thank you so much Sarah for letting me share it here. Loving #weightlosswednesday!! I

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